Wednesday, 21 November 2012

For Hermes the Luck-bringer

Hermes, Playing, Facing
of white Welcoming
the shore-grass.

over dubious sea
ways, torn
weather, the ground
hill, below the shadow
of dunes

The many great trees
And there is
Hermes, Hermes
From west,
twisted on

more have gnashed
waited, teeth
the water
my ankles

sails and sea,
twisted mast

called by
the wayfarers
in the wind, hard

It is in chance that we find you
and in chance that you find us

Sunday, 6 May 2012

A Prayer to the Ancestors

O Ancestors,
those who have tread upon this earth before us
those whose blood now flows inside us
those whose journey we continue
those who have seen the years of old, as we now see the new

we open our eyes to the time you have seen
may we now learn from the things that have been
we open our ears to your wise words and voices
you who have walked many roads, and named many choices

we ask that you lend us wisdom and light
when troubles and vices blur our sight
we ask that you lend us courage and desire
that no dark act can erase our inner fire

we ask that you lead us to our destinations
that we may not fall into resignation
to make decisions we were born to make
to choose the paths we were born to take

O Forebears,
those who have tread the soil that we now tread
those who have breathed the air that we now breathe
my gratitude I send across the Greatest sea
to the light in the horizon, shining endlessly
we remember and wish you well,
wherever you may dwell
a sound that never dies
an infinite bell

Sunday, 15 January 2012

Work of Art

You are a work of art. One that changes and grows. Life is a performance, and you are the actor and director. Life is an exhibit, and you are the artist and the work. Everyday, we should strive to be more beautiful, more captivating, more puzzling, more poignant, more arresting. We are novels that write ourselves. We are paintings that paint ourselves.

Saturday, 14 January 2012

The Lot Cup

Sometimes, in divination, we get a vague answer. Oftentimes, it’s a flat out

“We don’t know either”

“Stop Asking.”

“Yeah, have you heard of the uncertainty principle?”

Sometimes we don’t need to know what the future holds. Oftentimes, its knowledge might not be good for us.

If you’ve read Oedipus and other self-fulfilling prophecies, you might feel thankful that you don’t know what the future holds. So next time you get an answer depicting an unspecified future, rejoice in uncertainty. You’ll be spinning that wheel of fortune without knowing where it would land. Uncertainty can be exciting if you let it.

Friday, 13 January 2012


I am a migraine sufferer. For years, I have been struggling with episodes of pounding headaches, nausea and hyper acidity. It would start with a serpentine blur in my vision, a migraine aura, which would spread until half of my vision is obfuscated. When the aura disappears, intense pain sets in. My hands would grow cold and sweat would form on my forehead. I would force myself to throw up to alleviate the pain and nausea. These debilitating episodes would last for about 2-6 hours.

In my visions, I am sometimes shot through the torso by Apollon. A large arrow would be sticking out of my body.

“Don’t try to pull it out, or you’ll bleed to death.” he would say. “Use the pain as power.” Straight from a Kung-fu movie. And I would do so, until in my vision, the arrow would be absorbed into my body.

I still have my migraines, but now, I do not fear them.

It’s taken me a while to get it right, but I’ve found the right cocktail of medication to avert my episodes when they come. And I’m beginning to notice patterns of their appearance, so I can prevent them.

Every time I have a migraine episode, I learn something new about it. Each time, I grow stronger and become wiser.

I have read that for those who have had leg injuries, there is a critical point in their recovery, after all the physical therapy, that decides whether they fully recover, or remain handicapped. This when they have to choose between being cared for and coddled and babied by everybody around them, or going back to life was a fully functional human being.

Nobody has to be a slave of their disease, and it is your choice whether you emerge triumphant or remain a victim.

When your god shoots you, it might be for your own good.

Thursday, 12 January 2012


Apollon’s physical trials are not the only ones that I undergo. I also undergo psychological trials brought forth by Dionysos. The psychic counterpoint to my migraine episodes are my nervous breakdowns.

I haven’t always been afflicted with bouts of depression, slightly delusional thinking, paranoid ideation, impulsive behaviour etc, etc. Nowadays, i fall into pits of despair and hopelessness, I would be sieged by feelings of giving up, whatever that means. A swarm of insecurities, doubts and fears would circle me until I believe they’re real. I would struggle to control my anger, and try not to punch or shout at somebody. I would be at the borderline between self-injury and self-preservation.

The funny thing is, when these things occur, I know that my thoughts are irrational and that my actions would not be good for me or for the people around me, but sometimes, I do them anyways.

In my visions, I am sometimes torn apart by The Big D by vines. My body parts would be scattered on the ground. My feet would be tripping over themselves, my hands would be crawling a la Adams Family. “Be the conductor, be the bandleader.”

The self is not a singular thing. We cannot isolate it. There is no neuron in our brain that is the “master” neuron. We are all made up to different selves, parts, personalities. The interaction, fusion and fission of these parts are just as important in how we function as people as what these parts are.

It is quite a challenge to control and listen to our urges, impulses, and intuitions. But being able to orchestrate these parts to a unified goal is something we should all strive to do. This is how will is unshackled.

As long as we are perturbed and affected by the past and by the events around us, we are the slaves of our fears. As long as we lash out at something we can’t control, we are under its control. As long as we perceive the world through a negative lens, we are caught in the leash of our insecurities.

It is only when we learn how to take the driver’s seat in our body, and be able to make voluntary decisions about what is best for us that we will be happy. This is the power to choose. This is true freedom.

Wednesday, 11 January 2012

You Will Be Protected

These past few months, my family and I have been struggling with an intense legal battle. Sometimes we don’t know whether we’ll be able to make it out alive. This is a long story, but I do have a takeaway:

You will be protected.

You will be protected by your gods, in their own way.

They will be there when you feel like your back is against the wall.

Apollo will wake you with a prophetic pain in your eye, so you would stand outside to face your enemy. Dionysus will possess you in this encounter, so your enemy would be slowly driven mad. And all this so they would make a critical misstep in judgement, that would turn the tide of battle to your favor.

Your enemies will get sick. Your adversaries will go crazy. They become their own undoing.

This movie sucked, BTW.

Tuesday, 10 January 2012

Lost Things

Hermes likes to play. And if you’re not paying attention, he will play with you. One of his games goes like this:

It will start with a small object, something insignificant. A pencil, a pen, a piece of paper, a trinket or doohickey. You might carelessly misplace it or have it suddenly vanish from your bag. You’ll think, Oh, that’s ok, i’ll get another. The next object will be something slightly more valuable, a semi-important document, some money or laptop wiring. And you’ll think, geez, I’m so silly for forgetting these. If you still haven’t taken these warnings seriously, be prepared to lose something valuable. And you’ll think NO! What have I done! I should have done this and that! And you’ll be more attentive. But your attention will fade over time, and the cycle starts again.

Pay attention, or suffer. Take notice when your attention is slipping. Do not let attention slowly slip or you will face the consequences. But don’t worry, Hermes is fair: he gives warnings. ;)

Sunday, 8 January 2012

Gods and Science

Make no mistake.

The Gods want us to know them.

They want us to understand the mysteries of the universe. They want us to learn how to use what we know to make our lives better.

They want us to learn how plants grow and how weather works. How our own body works, so we can heal ourselves. They want us to learn about the rocks that sleep and toss and turn beneath our feet. They want us to learn about how we interact with each other. They want us to explore our feelings and thoughts.
They want us to explore their anatomy, and understand how they operate. They invite us and push us to see more of their workings every day. They want us to know what they know.

And, sure enough, as each day passes, we learn more, and we see more.

But the more we know, the more we realize that we really don’t know anything.

So is it futile to learn more about the universe?

I don’t think so. The Gods want us to understand them.

Creativity Tips

Creativity Tip : Restraint

If you’re feeling blocked, creatively:

Try to set a few rules for your work and follow them, strictly. For example, if you’re trying to write a poem, set restrictions such as rhyming and/or a fixed number of lines or syllables. Or if you’re trying to paint a picture, try sticking to a few colors or sticking to one style. Once you set some rules and restrictions for yourself to work in, you’ll be forced to strip away the unnecessary and focus on what you’re really trying to express. This is akin to covering a hose-hole with your thumb so the water would flow out more forcefully.

I hear often that moderation and restraint are factors in stunting creativity. And they would, if they are used dogmatically. (All dogma stunts creativity). But if they are used properly, they can be a powerful tool in intensifying and purifying your ideas.

Creativity Tip : Stream of Consciousness

If you’re feeling blocked, creatively:

Listen to your thoughts. Now write them down, or type them, that’s faster. Don’t judge what you jot down, just write it. Do not edit! try to copy the chatter in your head word for word, even the crazy tangents such as I feel hot or cold or my thigh is itchy and that guy is wearing that same red shirt again. Don’t think about grammar. Stay in the moment, and be filled with the present.

Chances are most of the stuff you write is useless, but maybe you might find a few of your own thoughts intriguing and you can see where they lead. But the important result of this exercise is that it helps disengage your editing self. For ideas to flow better, it is better not to shut them out before you’ve given them a good look. a bad idea might be a good idea in the future or in another context.

Creativity Tip : Become the Barrier

Becoming what blocks you is one of the more powerful creative tools that I’ve encountered. For example, if you’re very concerned about being original, then deliberately copy somebody or something that you adore. Once you master their style, you’ll be conscious when you’re doing their style. You will be more attentive of what you make.

If you’re concerned about making your work more “natural” and spontaneous, then try to do something routinely and precisely. Practice drawing lines perfectly, singing tones without frills, writing within rules. Once you master the basic movements and skills, then they become automatic, and they will flow naturally for you.

If you’re having trouble expressing a feeling in your work, then take a step back from the emotion and see it emotionlessly. Where does it come from? What images come to mind when you think of it? What’s its role? What is it for you?

Creativity Tip : The Hypnagogic

The hypnagogic state is the transitional state between being awake and being asleep. That’s when you start thinking strange thoughts and having strange sensations. In this state, things will flow better and you might find a great idea or the seed for it swimming in the surreal stew.

Think about what you’re trying to create or solve. If you’re trying to figure out how to make a more aerodynamic design of a device or machine, then read about aerodynamics and think about the device. The point is to drench your mind with thoughts about it.

Go to bed and bring a piece of paper and a writing utensil with you. You can also use a tape recorder. Try to stop thinking about the issue.

Set an alarm for about 10-20 mins. You can let yourself drift off to sleep. You begin writing if you can, but perhaps it’s better if you write what you see after the alarm goes off.

Inspect your visions and trains of thought for ideas, which may come in symbolic, metaphorical, literal, or whateverother forms.

Hypnogogic access for ideas is not a new discovery. August Kekulé, an organic chemist, has an anecdotal story regarding this. He drifted off to sleep and dreamt of a snake biting its own tail. He woke up, and realized that maybe the structure of Benzene was a ring. Salvador Dali, a surrealist painter, Would hold a spoon and put a plate beneath it. When he drifted off to sleep, the spoon would fall on the plate, waking him up and leaving him with visions to paint.

Friday, 23 December 2011

On Choosing/Being Chosen

It is not accurate to say that the gods chose their charges: the ones they love. It is also not accurate to say that that the charges choose their patrons. Rather, it is something that seems to happen simultaneously.

Charges are not servants of the gods, because they would choose to do the same activities whether they knew about the gods or not. Charges are close to a god because they share the same goals and the same agendas with their "patron".

And, in a way, you don’t have free reign over which patrons you choose. Because your choice of what virtues, ideas and activities to promote and do are influenced by your genetics and environment; things you have no control over.

Thursday, 22 December 2011

On Music

I have always been an individual of many interests and a multitude of capabilities. I know I am skilled in things that others strive to be skilled in. I am an extremely fast learner. I could easily excel in any field that I choose, but many ask me: Why not become a doctor? A lawyer? A stock broker? You have such great potential.

They ask me why I’d chosen music as my main discipline.

This is because there is another element in me besides this drive to learn and become excellent. I also have a great need to submerge myself in my feelings and imagination. I have a need to be absorbed, a need to dream, a need to be entranced, and it comes easily for me. If it were not for my need for trance, I would have chosen another discipline.

It is in music where I can satisfy both of my needs. In music, I can think and feel simultaneously, I can bask in its structural light or drown in a sensory bath. I can piece apart a song and examine how its parts interact, or swallow it whole.

You can say I have picked music as my drug of choice, or you can say that music has chosen me.

Sunday, 18 December 2011

Bullied by the Gods

What Happened April 2011 a.k.a. Bullied by the Gods

Apollo: It seems like our boy is feeling that his art is uninspired and numb. He’s asking for more potent ideas. Complaining that his creative juices aren’t in constant flow.
Dionysus: That’s my boy, I’ve been waiting for that request! I’d love to give him a good juicing!
Apollo: I think he might be ready for this wish. Look, he’s already trying to fulfill his own wish by himself. I like an eager student. But we will have to work together with him on this one.
Dionysus: Of course, I can’t work with an unhealthy subject who won’t express himself.
Apollo: I can’t work with one that thinks he’s got nothing to write about.
Dionysus: Oh, I’ll give him something to write about.
Apollo: And I’ll make sure he writes everyday. Hm, it seems that we’ll have to give him the full treatment this time, to give him what he’s asking for. It won’t work any other way.
Dionysus: Ooh, I’m all for a full treatment! I’m excited! Can we get started now? I’ve already got a few things lined up for him.
Hermes: We’ve planned it together.
Aphrodite: I’m definitely in! I have something to get out of this one too.
Dionysus: Of course you are, dear! Anyway, these two take care of the triggers, but I get to take care of the crazy times.
Hermes: Of course, of course! But let me know what dreams you want sent.
Apollo: We’ll keep you posted. And I see that he and his family won’t like the next few months.
Athena: I think the timing is perfect.
Hera: I agree. Let us begin. Great greatness will arise from great adversity.
Hermes: Can anyone say, be careful what you wish for?

On Ariadne

Recently, I have been struggling with mood instability, depressive thoughts, mania, hallucinations, hysteria and other mental disturbances. It's not severe enough to send me to the loony bin or to get medicated, but enough so I hurt myself and the people around me in non-physical ways. (Though sometimes it threatens to become physical)

In my episodes of hysteria, I choose despair over life. I choose to succumb to my negative thoughts and feelings, instead of choosing happiness and compassion.

I realize, that this choice repeatedly presents itself in every moment of our life. And for every moment, we can choose a path of leading to more life, vitality, and happiness, or something else. We choose a path, and after we take that path, we'll have to choose from a dozen other paths. Happiness is a conscious choice.

It's something of a labyrinth.

I realize that trick is to find out which path leads to more life and happiness and to choose it, if that's what we want. We can choose to snap at somebody or smile at them, or we can choose between a high paying tedious job or a job we're passionate about. It isn't easy: we face challenges in finding out which path to take and in choosing to take that path. But our choice is always respected.

Thursday, 15 December 2011


Dionysus is a god of metamorphosis. When he grabs you, he will not let go until he is finished with you. With his mad gaze, your mind will be displaced, and with this displacement comes enlightenment. Madness reveals aspects of yourself that you never knew existed, and places in your mind you have avoided for so long. He will tell you “You are more than what you think you are.” and he will prove it. You are more than just a poet, more than just a man, more than just a young person. It is a very painful process, but you will come out of it more strange, and more beautiful.