Sunday, 18 December 2011

On Ariadne

Recently, I have been struggling with mood instability, depressive thoughts, mania, hallucinations, hysteria and other mental disturbances. It's not severe enough to send me to the loony bin or to get medicated, but enough so I hurt myself and the people around me in non-physical ways. (Though sometimes it threatens to become physical)

In my episodes of hysteria, I choose despair over life. I choose to succumb to my negative thoughts and feelings, instead of choosing happiness and compassion.

I realize, that this choice repeatedly presents itself in every moment of our life. And for every moment, we can choose a path of leading to more life, vitality, and happiness, or something else. We choose a path, and after we take that path, we'll have to choose from a dozen other paths. Happiness is a conscious choice.

It's something of a labyrinth.

I realize that trick is to find out which path leads to more life and happiness and to choose it, if that's what we want. We can choose to snap at somebody or smile at them, or we can choose between a high paying tedious job or a job we're passionate about. It isn't easy: we face challenges in finding out which path to take and in choosing to take that path. But our choice is always respected.

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