On Choosing/Being Chosen

It is not accurate to say that the gods chose their charges: the ones they love. It is also not accurate to say that that the charges choose their patrons. Rather, it is something that seems to happen simultaneously.

Charges are not servants of the gods, because they would choose to do the same activities whether they knew about the gods or not. Charges are close to a god because they share the same goals and the same agendas with their "patron".

And, in a way, you don’t have free reign over which patrons you choose. Because your choice of what virtues, ideas and activities to promote and do are influenced by your genetics and environment; things you have no control over.

On Music

I have always been an individual of many interests and a multitude of capabilities. I know I am skilled in things that others strive to be skilled in. I am an extremely fast learner. I could easily excel in any field that I choose, but many ask me: Why not become a doctor? A lawyer? A stock broker? You have such great potential.

They ask me why I’d chosen music as my main discipline.

This is because there is another element in me besides this drive to learn and become excellent. I also have a great need to submerge myself in my feelings and imagination. I have a need to be absorbed, a need to dream, a need to be entranced, and it comes easily for me. If it were not for my need for trance, I would have chosen another discipline.

It is in music where I can satisfy both of my needs. In music, I can think and feel simultaneously, I can bask in its structural light or drown in a sensory bath. I can piece apart a song and examine how its parts interact, or swallow it whole.

You can say I have picked music as my drug of choice, or you can say that music has chosen me.

Bullied by the Gods

What Happened April 2011 a.k.a. Bullied by the Gods

Apollo: It seems like our boy is feeling that his art is uninspired and numb. He’s asking for more potent ideas. Complaining that his creative juices aren’t in constant flow.
Dionysus: That’s my boy, I’ve been waiting for that request! I’d love to give him a good juicing!
Apollo: I think he might be ready for this wish. Look, he’s already trying to fulfill his own wish by himself. I like an eager student. But we will have to work together with him on this one.
Dionysus: Of course, I can’t work with an unhealthy subject who won’t express himself.
Apollo: I can’t work with one that thinks he’s got nothing to write about.
Dionysus: Oh, I’ll give him something to write about.
Apollo: And I’ll make sure he writes everyday. Hm, it seems that we’ll have to give him the full treatment this time, to give him what he’s asking for. It won’t work any other way.
Dionysus: Ooh, I’m all for a full treatment! I’m excited! Can we get started now? I’ve already got a few things lined up for him.
Hermes: We’ve planned it together.
Aphrodite: I’m definitely in! I have something to get out of this one too.
Dionysus: Of course you are, dear! Anyway, these two take care of the triggers, but I get to take care of the crazy times.
Hermes: Of course, of course! But let me know what dreams you want sent.
Apollo: We’ll keep you posted. And I see that he and his family won’t like the next few months.
Athena: I think the timing is perfect.
Hera: I agree. Let us begin. Great greatness will arise from great adversity.
Hermes: Can anyone say, be careful what you wish for?
Ares: AWOOOOOOOOOOOO!

On Ariadne

Recently, I have been struggling with mood instability, depressive thoughts, mania, hallucinations, hysteria and other mental disturbances. It's not severe enough to send me to the loony bin or to get medicated, but enough so I hurt myself and the people around me in non-physical ways. (Though sometimes it threatens to become physical)

In my episodes of hysteria, I choose despair over life. I choose to succumb to my negative thoughts and feelings, instead of choosing happiness and compassion.

I realize, that this choice repeatedly presents itself in every moment of our life. And for every moment, we can choose a path of leading to more life, vitality, and happiness, or something else. We choose a path, and after we take that path, we'll have to choose from a dozen other paths. Happiness is a conscious choice.

It's something of a labyrinth.

I realize that trick is to find out which path leads to more life and happiness and to choose it, if that's what we want. We can choose to snap at somebody or smile at them, or we can choose between a high paying tedious job or a job we're passionate about. It isn't easy: we face challenges in finding out which path to take and in choosing to take that path. But our choice is always respected.

Metamorphosis

Dionysus is a god of metamorphosis. When he grabs you, he will not let go until he is finished with you. With his mad gaze, your mind will be displaced, and with this displacement comes enlightenment. Madness reveals aspects of yourself that you never knew existed, and places in your mind you have avoided for so long. He will tell you “You are more than what you think you are.” and he will prove it. You are more than just a poet, more than just a man, more than just a young person. It is a very painful process, but you will come out of it more strange, and more beautiful.

D in partying

I’m still observing the dynamic between Apollo and Dionysus and how they work within me. I already know that these two forces feed on each other, at least inside me.

Apollo freely gives up his watch to Dionysus, and I do feel like the Oracle at Delphi sometimes.

Apollo: So did you have fun while I was gone?
Dionysus: Well, uh... it was alright.
Apollo: ONLY alright?
Dionysus: Yeah...
Apollo: Dennis, you get a D in partying.

:(

Live efficiently

Having caught the attention of Apollo means that you have to live efficiently, without waste. Everything you do must contribute to your improvement. You sleep well because you need to function excellently the day later, You take “breaks” to open yourself to inspiration and ideas, You travel and explore to gain insight about yourself and the world, You play games to hone your skills in strategy, You party to express your pent up emotion. For Apollo, there is no such thing as idleness: every moment must contribute to your progress.